ALONG CAME THE SIDE CHICK
CONFESSIONS OF A BLOGGING SIDE MISTRESS
You know us very well. We are the women you look down upon, the ones you badmouth and call ‘loose’, desperate, dirty mistresses, THE SIDE CHICK .Oh yes we have heard you laughing off, scratching on each other when we pass “Haaziriye bhebhi uye akudanana ne mufesi wemunhu?Ha kari desperate wena”But before you judge us, have you ever wondered why we prefer dating your men rather than finding ourselves a companion. Do you wonder why we prefer being the option, the side salad of his full course meal, why we would stoop so low to be treated so differently from the main chick. Why we would want to settle for less than what God price tagged us for? Think no more, as I am about to sell out our deepest secrets. I do not care if the secret society of side chicks will mysteriously make me disappear into thin air like Slice’s fame did but the real reasons why we prefer a taken guy is….
WE FEAR THE ATTACHMENT THAT COMES WITH BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP…
The truth is this world is filled with damaged and hurt people. The disappointments in love and relationships have caused many people to operate with walls up. For some of us apparently what better way to protect oneself than knowingly not being the only woman in the man’s life. We figure being the side chick is safer for the heart and the emotions while still being provided companionship at some level. We want to be loved but not fully. We want the easier things, intimacy without attachment. This is risky business because eventually we tend to fall and develop an unhealthy attachment. Yet we know the dangers of all this but we cling on as dirty mistresses only for the pleasure and not for the love, being the emergency calling number when his main lady isn’t around.
WE ALLOW IT…
My mother always said that if you accept less, less you will get. Many of us who are side chicks simply allow to be put in that category. We accept the game as it is even deep down we know we are better than this. Plenty of us are very much aware of the main chick and yet we still choose to go along with the situation. The reality is that many of us are aware and still choose to go along with the situation. The other reality is that many of us will indeed thirst and want the top spot and it’s such a shame many if not all of us wont never get it. Don’t judge us, after all we are human and sharing with us is indeed caring…
WE DON’T VALUE OURSELVES MORE THAN JUST A MISTRESS…
Psychologically this is anything more than true. Women, more than men experience loss of self worth especially in our adolescence years. Low self esteem can drive us to deal with a lot less than we actually deserve. We might have bought into the lie that we can’t do better than this man. There are guys out there who make it difficult not to want to dive in as a side piece with their charm, chiselled bodies, their willingness to sweep us off our feet but then announce that he is seeing someone else. We appreciate the leftovers rather than embrace that we deserve receiving a full course meal of a man.
WE ARE FREAKS…AND WANT MORE THAN ONE SAUSAGE IN OUR PAN…
We thrive on having sexual ties. They keep us feeling sexually worthy. Wasn’t it always the more, the merrier. Well in our case there is no way we could be stuck with one individual so we lessen ourselves to the diminishing role of a side dish. We are fine with it, so long he calls when my thirst is real. We love our sexual prowess, how we are able to ignite better the flame of desire in him rather than his main chick. We boast to our friends “Well I’m giving him better services. That’s why he keeps texting”. It’s an ego boost to us. We are like a generator to a Zesa power cut: we provide where there is lack…
THERE IS NOTHING MORE TO US THAN JUST OUR PHYSICAL APPEARANCE
For those women who have been referred to as just a pretty face or the girl with the lump some butt know how it feels to be less a human and more a physical appearance character. Unfortunately many of us are yet to reach their potential. Some of us haven’t evolved as women and haven’t reached our potential and we simply get on by our looks or other physical attributes. That’s why you find us chilling with your ministers in those places you can’t afford even when you sold your soul to a local wizard or bathed in divine waters that toothless n’anga prescribed for you. For a whole lot of guys, we are the perfect side dish, yummy looking and delicious.
There are two types of us apparently: the coherent side chick who feels more important and at times we depend on how the guy feels. We are rarely lied to and usually the guy is himself when he is around us. Ladies I’m sure you are well acquainted with us. We usually come in the tag name ‘bestie’.Yes you must hate us. We usually know him better than you, almost always. After all murume igumbeze kukatonhora tinobvutirana.The second type is the non coherent. This side chick is pretty much in the same boat as the main chick. They are both clueless of each other’s existence.
If you are reading this dear side chick/mistress and thinking you have met your emancipator please quickly wipe off that stupid smirk on your face. Shame, the joke is on you sisi! I’m just a snake in your green grass. To all my side chicks out there (in spirit) you better start focussing on bettering yourself rather than chasing after these taken guys. Build your self worth, be independent, and strive for queen standards. You are worth more than gold and any guy would be honoured to be your king. If you accept less you will be treated as less your whole life. Even if you go about bragging how expensive the Jimmy Choos he bought for you are, in reality you are just a wipe towel, only for use when there is need. There is more to life; your Prince in shining hembe will definitely drop from ‘god knows where princes drop from’. Never make someone a priority that only makes you an option. Trust me he is not leaving main bae for side nhingi.Ndiwe wadii unofonerwa kana zvaipa? An emergency number in the directory? Mbuya Nehanda definitely didn’t fight the struggle for you to be an emergency calling number. Remember my fellow ladies; a man will never give you the title ‘main’ if your price tag says free! Do not sell your self short.Ever!