A Mixture Of Funny And Dry Short Jokes by Mcpotar

A Mixture Of Funny And Dry Short Jokes by Mcpotar

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Today I decided to compile you 18 jokes which I wrote in 2016. It is a mixture of humid humour and dry jokes. You may tweet some of the one liners and share some of them with your family.

01 – 

Pessimistic people look at Hip-hop videos with girls in bikini’s and say, “You are watching half naked girls.”

Positive people see half dressed chicks.

02

My tombstone should’ve one of the following

1. “Haters, you happy now?”
2. “Don’t disturb. I need some rest.”
3. #Dead
4. “Don’t worry, your turn is coming.”
5. “In memory of me go to Facebook and like my page. I’ll post from my Ghost account.”
6. “If you are tired you can sit on this stone.”

03

Tsano: Merry Christmas Samantha.

Samantha: I don’t know who Christmas is but I’d deffinitely Marry Chris Brown.

04

A good marketing strategy for a drink for kids is to call it FUN. Imagine when parents give their kids pocket money and say, “Go out and have fun.”

05

A cop caught a drunken driver and said, “Sir, you are under arrest.”

He said, “F*** no, am under the influence of alcohol.”

06

In 7th Grade our class monitor was white. It had contrast buttons and was a Compaq.

07

A dude, sat with his girl in a restaurant, held her palms and looked into her eyes gently.

” Baby, everyone needs a place where they can vent their frustrations. Share their successes and opinions and be themselves. I found that place when I found you.”

She smiled, “Awww that sweet hun.”

“Yes, without you I wouldn’t know where to vent. Thank you for introducing me to Facebook.”

08

One useless room in a Ghost House is the “living room”.

09

Life expectancy in Africa is getting so low that one of these days if you go to someone elses funeral you wont have time to prepare for yours.

10

I saw funny looking cloth. I think it’s comedy material.

11

When the law finally catches up with corrupt politicians, please don’t give them jail sentences. Just give them paragraphs!

12

60 seconds after an alcoholic had sipped a tote of Vodka, his A.A advisor called to check up on him.

“When was the last time you drank.” Said the Instructor.

He answered, “It’s been a minute.”

13

The newspapers  used to dedicate a small portion of the paper to jokes, nowadays they dedicate the whole paper.

14

You and WORDS look alike, sometimes I confuse you with them.

15

You so ugly it’s like Satan landed on your face when he got kicked out of heaven.

16

An old man  refused to enter a modern toilet, “No, no, no I won’t. There’s people watching.” he said.

Someone had flushed the toilet and he thought it was a round of applause.

17

Tsano: During the rainy season, what do you do with clothes after washing them.
Dr.Bae: I take them where-ever they dry Mcpotar’s jokes.

18

Three men walked into a bar, a soccer star, an electrician and a Priest.

The soccer star got Vodka.

The electrician got a cider.

The Priest got out.

 

Hope you enjoyed them, if you like my writing do not hesitate to follow me on twitter @Mcpotar

 

 

 

 

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